His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My penis needs a shock collar
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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