he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
