For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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