My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
