That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
