i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
