i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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