New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
