He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
