um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
