she smelled like a LAN party
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Drunk is not a location!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
