he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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