They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
