WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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