Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
