Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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