Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
