she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
