No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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