he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize