Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
