i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
