His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
