I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
