I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
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How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.