Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.