If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.