I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
