I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
