I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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