So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
