He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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