At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
