I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
