god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
