He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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