I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
