i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
