just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize