So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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