Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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