at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
