We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
