i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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