k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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