Cold hands, warm shart.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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