Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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