Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
