a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
