You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You need a sexual gate keeper
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize