Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
