Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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