I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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