My nipple is on Facebook.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
