I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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