Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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