Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
