p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
