I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
