My first STD was from a foam party
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize