Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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