Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
