I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize