we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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