Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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